Proven Ways To Know If You Are Socially Inept ( At Least To Some Extent)

Bed Intelligence

You would like it if she went down on you at last? A casual talk while breakfasting together misses the point? Truth is if she said she will not be willing to bend she won’t. No matter how desperately the girl you are dating tries to explain her negative past experiences with a blow job you are adamant that she does something about it. During an initial stage of hugging and snogging she indeed goes on you but just to stop above the finishing line. Disappointed by that performance you push her head so that she knows what you demand at the moment but you score nothing and she turns her back on you. For those wondering how come or it is a real life scenario let us pass on this question. Frustration indeed rears its ugly head (pun intended) but when it comes to sacrificing yourself in bed to keep your man satisfied does not yield the desirable results. Table and bed manners seem like a forgotten song which does not mean passion and willigness to experiment are to be forgone. Not in the long or short run when striving for true intimacy in a long term relationship.

House Intelligence

OK your mom would love to point it out that whenever you fight over housework this is usually the guy’s Achilles heel. Hey but your momma taugt you nicely to say hi and thank you and all those little cliches that makes the neighbourly lives so much fun you get when you know you conform. What of the girl then you brought home only to observe she misses out on the house trained wisdom? Her mum most likely has forgotten to mention that lovely rule when you enter the guy’s place keep it neat. Indeed you like the place near but the girl’s resilience to learn from experience with you being a teacher is obviously lacking. So you play her dad and mom and you both talk how cleanliness and orderliness define you as a human being. It is not that she stacked the plates so high only to compose the house sort leaning tower of Piza it is just you own the place and yet somehow she fails to notice. Unbearable to say the least Watson. Deep in your soul there is already a suspicion she may not be the one which is confirmed when she denies having to do anything after an illuminating monologue while she clenches her fists in despair. Now it is not to say that she would love to remodel the place into a pigsty it is just this lingering feeling somewhere back of your mind that things are not just going the way you want them to be.

Manners and Mannerism All Over Again Luv

With all that niceness as your armor sported when dealing with people around you do trip all over and stumble upon certain social cues where only the initiated have a cluse while you do not. Trespassing signs will not be of much help as the blindfolds are firmly in place. You rush to help the elderly neighbor but fail to observe the inappropriate moments when you literally trip yourself. In place of leaving the place and people who are suffering alone to come back later when they recover you push for the financial issues to be explained. Ok so your family has just had a near shave with their kiddos strapped in the back but your focus is on yourself only. A lovely fight ensues and your life relationship with a dearly loved cousin hangs by a thread. Too bad you were somewhat unaware before you took the plunge.

Categories: Psychology

You Are What You Were Given

Early life experiences show babies how to deal with the world and what to expect from their primary caretakers. If there is hardly any response and no bond developed among them and their parents, one should not expect wonders, though many adults manage to lead their lives according to those faulty patterns of inadequate parenting. In a sense most of us are victims of poor parental choices and a cliche conscious parenting, so vogue these days. Less conscious types could be more driven by the biological need to have someone to love or fill in the void or treat the pain of life with a new life, or just give birth because they can, though, in general, children keep being the joy of many people’s lives, no matter how much the parents are making. On a side note, some couples, despite their savvy and intelligence, become much confused with their first born babies, even despite having read much about pregnancies and becoming ready to welcome the child with open arms. Those less preocuppied somehow manage to conceive (women of course) give birth and are naturally less preocuppied, simply take care of their business the way they should. Anyhow, what matters in the end, is how much love one is ready to give, but that is not the only thing. If you are feeling you are not actually ready for the challenge of raising a human being, just do not. You could control the world with the baby’s arrival, make your dreams come true, but if it was just incidental, then facing up to this enormous task requires a nice deal of effort on your part. Unfortunately many of those incidental parents are having trouble with themselves or their partners, and the baby’s upbringing is often hampered in the process while the two adults are busy navigating their lives and trying to smooth out some of their rough edges, set of beliefs and so on. Parenting a child in those circumstances feels like a lost cause to some, the results being disastrous for the child’s cognitive and emotional development that is largely written off.

Control Issues

If the child is overly controlled instead of shown enough love and flexibility in attitude and plenty of time devoted to him or her, or instant help with any developmental difficulties. What matters here is what kind of understanding of the world a baby will develop taught not through a consistent approach but in a slapdash manner with little on the side of warmth and more than just the physiological care. Though many children grow up with that little bits of maternity love that is satisfying enough for the psyche to become a fully adaptable adult, those quirky ways he or she was fed early on remain the core of their very character. Those with greater needs for affection and corrective treatment would struggle all their life with the unstable image of the world and difficulties arising from getting close enough to other people. One way to be in control is through demanding instant gratification and dislike for discomfort, in a way, these adults remain babies all their lives, with the unsteady inner image. The only way is through some deep reflection on your life and application of those to your daily functioning, which is quite a challenge. It is an intervention that could last a lifetime, as wounds go deep into a person’s psyche. Deprogramming is an intense effort, but it is not about suppressing the uglier part of your personality, something that is present in virtually everyone, just untangling the mess you have become, getting to the heart of the matter and seeing yourself through the new eyes. The process is lengthy and dificult to boot, once you also realize that all those other problems have always stemmed from it.

Categories: Psychology

Control Me Not

Attempts are made to influence on a day to day basis, with people trying to exert control over our lives and our decisions. Those who control way too much are probably suffering from another problem that is acutely felt in relationships by straining them as a result. Those people might have developed a low self esteem for various reasons, including some faulty parenting from the early on period, which has a long term bearing on their life and other areas of life. Now every person has that controlling streak present in our characted, but it could be more tertiary than self evident and the major trait, or could be be concealed as passive aggressive, if not addressed through a theraphy.

Control Issues

Why is control so important to them? Even if they are at their wits’ ends when it comes to filling up the void in their hearts and souls, they rely mightily on their partners to fill that for them, and yet, on the other side, they are deeply fearful deep inside that one day they might find out the partner to be gone from their life for the reasons like too much control. Clinging partners or ivy poison types rely excessively on the support from their husbands, and those relationships are called co-dependent. While the ivy type personality could have enough positive values to him or her, the controlling behavior will finally be unmasked, if the partner decides to draw the line or push the boundaries of the comfort zone way too much for that person to accept that step.

The Prognosis

The prognosis for that particular relationship are far from being positive, as the dependent is struggling mightily to stand on their own feet somehow and yet fails at most corners, while the other partner starts to build up a wall of discontent and indifference, finally leading to a split, at times long forecast by the ivy personality as inevitable and self induced. Interestingly enough, the behavior could run in the family, with the weak personality being dependent on other family members, leeching off them to a large degree. The problematic behaviors could be addressed through a long term therapy, dynamic approach or CBT.

There is plenty of work involved for patients with controlling and low esteem issues that are deeply ingrained in their personality, with some typical distorted thought patterns present, thus, further predisposing them to some depression. Some recent research shows depression is about neurons’ miscommunication than serotonine levels, while it can be triggered by a multitude of reasons. Interestingly enough, with depression, most people present enough resilience to dramatic events, with low moods coming back to normalcy than in other subjects tested in that matter. The findings show that much is yet to be discovered about possible causes and treatment of the disease.

Categories: Psychology